~Written by Danielle N. Bilski ~
I want to start this post by wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a safe impending New Years Eve celebration as a prologue to a positive 2012.
It has been a huge few weeks on a personal front for me. The celebration of my birthday, my 5th anniversary with my boyfriend, my Mum’s birthday a week later, Christmas Day and all of the preparations during the days in between. I am so grateful to have spent Christmas Day with my family and especially my Nana who was in hospital last Christmas after a fall and full shoulder reconstruction literally 7 days before Christmas 2010. To sit next to her at the beautifully set Christmas table at her home on Sunday was such a personally moving experience for me and I couldn’t have been more proud and thankful.
Now, with less than three days left of this year, I couldn’t think of a better time to reflect on where I am, where I have been and where I plan to go.
PAST
This year started with me trying to figure out what I was doing in terms of work and studying. I was officially unemployed after working three different jobs last year – data entry, sales and hospitality. Like every year, I started with a positive outlook and a sense of optimism. The job-seeking process proved difficult with no outcome, during which time I was focused on reading and working on my manuscript.
Choosing to return to undergraduate university study in June gave me a sense of purpose and allowed me to get ahead with my required reading before the unit officially began at the end of August. Distance education showed a great deal of potential for me and I completed my first two units in November, before starting another two units that I am currently about halfway through taking my total units up to four towards completing my Arts degree.
I had set myself a goal to complete a minimum of twenty five books in 2011 in the period from 1st January to 31st December.
Work on my manuscript slowed down considerably once I commenced full time study, however I believe all of the study I am doing is of priceless value to my writing. I re-worked a few of my chapters, but taking a break from it has given me some perspective, a fresh motivation and a more disciplined writing plan.
My freelance writing jobs have also been rare this year, however it is at a comfortable pace taking my heavy study load into consideration. I intend on continuing to complete jobs as they become available, however I haven’t been proactive in seeking out any new sub-contracting opportunities as yet.
In reference to my second Literature essay for last term, I was quite disappointed with the comments and my overall mark, in stark contrast to my first essay which had been marked by a different person than the second. Although I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, I definitely thought that I did better than I what my mark and comments reflected and specifically a comment made about my writing expression needing to be more clear and concise. As a professional writer, hoping to make a more solid career out of my writing, I found this comment particularly hurtful and almost to the point of insulting. My language and grammar only received a ‘pass’ in the marking criteria which was relatively harsh. It made me question my ability and reflect on all the work I have already completed on the manuscript and this website over the past two and a half years. Subsequently, I have had to get myself to a place where I have let it go and moved on to what my current focus is. I have had to rediscover my belief in myself, despite the criticism of one academic piece I was required to produce in order to complete my degree, in a much broader sense.
PRESENT
I am currently in week 5 of my second unit of my Literature and Composition major and my first sociology unit. I will admit that following a busy few weeks I have felt a little anxious about having fallen behind with my reading over this Christmas period. While I prepared myself for the fact that I wouldn’t be as organised and productive as I have been in the past because of the personal occasions that were planned, the catch-up game has been a considerably difficult one the last few days. It is only today that I have began to feel less overwhelmed after crossing some of the larger tasks off my to do list and organising a study schedule with specific tasks assigned to particular days for the rest of this week.
On a positive note, right now I have officially completed 29 books, exceeding my initial goal of 25 for the year!
I define myself as a writer – an aspiring author, a freelance copywriter, a blogger and a full time Literature major. I am content with my decisions and at the end of the day I know that I have remained true to myself and not tried to be someone I’m not. I refuse to rush myself and I take too much pride in what I choose to do to complete anything to a standard lower than it deserves, with subjectivity as an obvious variable.
FUTURE
Looking ahead to 2012 and beyond, I intend on continuing my full time study, having already enrolled for four more units for next year. I plan to complete two units per term for the next few years and indend on graduating at the end of 2014 with a Bachelor of Arts (Literature and Composition).
I also hope to conduct research for my manuscript and begin volunteering in aged care assisting a friend/prior collegue. I also plan to write to a more consistent schedule that will ensure I progress with the manuscript in a more balanced arrangement that complements my study in the area of Literature.
Nothing makes me happier than spending my time with you and writing. I have made it such a significant part of my life and without it I wouldn’t be me. I am living my dreams and I couldn’t be more excited to continue adding to the puzzle that is my life, even learning to embrace life’s imperfections that I once would have been afraid to encounter.
I also hope to become more organised so I can incorporate more quality time with my family and friends and a more active exercise plan.
Ultimately, my new year’s resolution is ‘Don’t be so hard on myself!’ I always try my best. After that, it is out my control.
Tomorrow is another day, so don’t let anyone (especially yourself) hold you back from realising the best version of you!
The journey is endless and unpredictable. Have a very happy New Year 2012!
Embracing the blissful times that lay ahead and anticipating the challenges,
My time with you
©2011 Danielle N. Bilski